Mae Dae Mae Dae 100 Bars

	Mae Day - 101 bars .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Can you turn a he-hoe into a house husband? Lol

I have just a couple of thoughts.

I’m part of a group of SINGLE, college educated professional women who, at the very least on the surface, are pretty cool chicks. I don’t know how others behave when in relationships but they’re cool with me and I think that says a lot lol. Assuming they’re like me, they are having a very hard time finding someone to seriously date.

Now this isn’t going to turn into a why are my friends and I so great yet single piece. I just had some ideas pop into my head that I thought I’d throw out there to wolves and see what others think.

1. Are dudes who are man whores worthy of trying out?? Or is a man whore always a man whore?

I ask this because of something I put on tweeted today.

I typed “Its funny when u mention the name of a guy & every girl in the room makes that face lol he's either not a good person or has ran thru 2 many.”

Now I know a lot of dudes who know a lot of females, A LOT of females and I don’t tend to look at them as someone date-able because they’ve been around the block more than a couple of times. Is that a dating pool that shouldn’t be ignored?? Can a man whore ever redeem himself and become husband material?? Can you turn a he-hoe into a house husband? Lol

2. Letting God lead your search

I’m not talking about having spiritual requirements but leaving your search in God’s hands so to speak, so you do nothing to help aid in your search for a mate. If that’s your method, or non-method, can you complain about not having someone?? Do you think you need to put yourself in situations where you can find your mate? Or will he bring you your mate without any nudge from you at all?

And if you do an active search and not acknowledge God in your search isn’t he really aiding in your search anyway??

So is it best to have it both ways? Actively put out the vibes that you want a boo and let God do his side of it?

What if you’re not ready for a boo but you don’t know that but he knows that and he’s keeping you single til you’re ready. Will you appreciate you boo that much more because you were "ready?"

What if you're like me and don't want to be old as hell getting married and it be too late to have babies. Woops did I just publish a fear? Yep lol

Relationships, Cheaters, Becoming Jaded and all that jazz

Within the last two years or so I've met or been approached by more dudes who are in relationships than I have in my whole adult dating life and I think I'm becoming jaded out relationships.

And for the record I know chicks cheat just as much as dudes but I'm a chick who doesn't and this is what I'm dealing with.

I know ninjas have been cheating since the beginning of time but I mean I at least thought there were SOME out there that don't. But the more I meet guys and most are in relationships of some sort (even married) the more I see how willing they are to get at me regardless of who they have at home. Some have talked about how much they love their wife or girl and are happy in that situation but just want to "get to know me" aka get in my bed.

Why?

Why can't they just acknowledge an attraction to someone and not act on it? Is it really something in males that make them want to pro-create with any chick they find suitable?

Is this social construct of marriage really whats not natural and something that should not be looked forward to if you wish to have a fully committed partner?

If you decide to get married should you be ok with a certain level of adultery?

What do you consider cheating in the first place? Inappropriate talks? Secret friends of the opposite sex? Inappropriate thoughts of someone other than the person you're with?

I think some things are excusable, we're human, we have brains, we have hormones.

Maybe the animal in us is closer than we think?? Maybe commitment is the issue and not the men......

What do you think?

Marco.......Polo

And I'm not talking about that stupid Bow Wow-Souljah Boy song.

I'm talking about seeking out honest, high quality people that I want in my life. Finding a boo and/or friends of either sex is very hard to do, it's not easy to differientate those that are like that saying, only here for a season from those you who are here for a lifetime.

Seasonal vs. Lifetime



Friendship- I've had a hard time keep real friends in my life. I have different sets of "friends" and "associates" who come and go and come again and have served different purposes in my life. I have my high school friends and associates. Some of these people I may have known since kindergarten and still talk to but aren't people I hang with or confide in but are friendish. Then there are associates from highschool that I speak to but never really been friends with and thats all good. And then there are my ride or die homies who even if with go months without speaking all I got to do is make a phone call and they're there and vice versa and they better be my friends forever because we got these damn matching tattoos and mine is the biggest! And even though they are my ride or die there are still limitations, we've grown apart, done different things in life which alters taste and stuff someone might like to do or see the others don't.

My bestest friend is part of that crew and we've definitely grown apart and have taken different paths in life but thats my babymama (I'm the god mom to her kids) and I'll always love her. Then there is Bird, who I can't come up with another name for so she'll go by her own name, who I admire and worry about so much. She has the balls I wish I had, she got up and moved out of the state and did her thing, something I want to do but don't have the nerve. She's an awesome person, someone easy to talk to and is very smart and is #2 on my bestest list.

I have no real friends from college, mostly associates so we can skip that whole period all together.

Fast forward to 2007-present time and who do I have?

I have my ride or dies, my bestests 1 and 2, and a new buddy in Derg but we really don't talk if Bird isn't involved and that is it. I had a group of peeps who most I've known the longest and I thought were my other ride or die group but things are not so. Once I took a step back after being told essentially that I was bossy (which I don't understand and I'll address below) they tend to fall into the same line as everyone else. 99.99999999% of the time I've had conversations with these people its been if we're all out somewhere. Sometimes we'd meet up and everyone will be talking about something that happened and I'd have no idea what they're talking about because they never talk to me but will talk to each other.

M-Th conversation was very limited to either planning the weekend if something was going on or limited convo on gchat. I'd throw out ideas to go out or invite them over if I cooked and that was turned into me being bossy. Nothing I suggested as things to do were mandatory, nothing was 'do this or else.' I was merely trying to maintain a semblance of a friendship and it turned into me being bossy. Ok. Fine. I'll be bossy by myself. I was under the impression that friends talked, chilled, went out every now and then. Obviously I was mistaken so I've removed myself from that situation.

This all came about after I had a huge breakdown and felt unbelievably at my worse about everything in life but I had my friends and we were going to hang and see a movie but then 'you're bossy' and 'no offense' 'oh are we still going.'

No, we're not.



Love- I am so unlucky in relationships with dudes it is ridiculous. My ex, well he's an ex and I won't put our issues out there because they are deeper than normal relationship bullish but we didn't work and he's got a new boo. Before him, well I always forget the one for a month or so at the end of the year/beginning of this year. That was a relationship a few years too late. I wish he would have been ready when I was, we'd likely be married by now but now wasn't right and now he's having a kid with someone else. Ok now lets go further back, the one before my ex was a straight up weirdo lol. This was my senior year of college and he was really nice but strange. He carried a messenger bag like the white dudes as a purse lol. And he liked old grandpa type cars, not like an old caprice that you hook up but an old grandpa lincoln lol. Before him was Blue and well we were on two different paths in life that would have never worked even if we tried. I'm anti-marijuana and he smoked. I was getting my college degree and he well smoked and likely cheated lol. Anything before that doesn't matter.

My one- lol well lets just say the feeling was no longer mutual or they were maybe mutual but time and distance caused a huge issue. But if there is a will there is a way and there was no will. wan wan lol I guess thats how you spell that sound effect. I mean thats how I say it but I could be wrong. But back to my one. The only thing I don't like about him is his height. But everthing else was so awesome I didn't care that heels made us about the same height lol. But he doesn't feel the same way so I finally agreed that it was pointless and moved on.

The other one lol- I have two issues with this one. One being poor money management skills and lack of ambition to do anything other than issue #2, which is his hobby consuming too much of his time and his unwillingness to adjust or compromise on it. I know its a money maker for him and pays his bills when needed but damn, can't get a date or even night in with someone who is out doing their hobby 5 nights a week. And for someone willing to even come watch something they don't enjoy because you do should be met with some sort of compromise. Another, if marriage and/or baby making is being considered you have to have some sory of plan in place to have things covered and I know too much about your $$ situation to go into something along either one of those lines. It's a bit selfish but I will not struggle if I don't have to and I already am by myself, I'm not taking on more struggle.

The new one who has definitely slipped into the not going to happen box is an awesome dude. Got everything I want in a dude other than muscles and thats not a mandatory requirement. He's super smart, very successful, nice, funny, definitely a geek which is so sexy, very grounded and spiritual. But he doesn't live here. He just got our of a relationship where he was hurt so he's not receptive to dating anyone remotely serious and thats fine and I'd have no issue with that if I was told before I got my nose all opened. Sometimes thinking of someone should be left at that and not dangling your awesomeness in someone's face when its not for sale. Pre-October 2nd things were great, going slow, trying not to get in the way of his healing or "chilling" as he put it. Post October 4th I never hear from him with no explanation other than the one time he's contacted me since I was last in Chicago that he's been busy. Well you were working before too. Like I said before where there is a will there is a way and there is no longer a will so I am forced to get over that ish and move on.

Today is November 4, 2009 and I haven't been in a good place for a while now and I don't know if it'll ever get better. I think deep down I'm a good person and I'll have people in my corner. Right now I got my pup pup and he's all I need.

Advertising and the black dollar

I was inspired to write this blog after reading Marissa Miley’s article, “Don't Bypass African-Americans,” in the February 2nd issue of Advertising Age. The article is basically about how marketers have continued to ignore the black market. It states that black people have a $913 billion buying power and will hit the trillion dollar mark by 2013, (2011 according to www.emarketer.com) and we’re being bypassed/overlooked/ignored in the advertising field. It goes on about the Hispanic marketing and how much is spent there and the theory behind it and all that (you can read the article for more details).

What I believe is wrong with black advertising, and nothing I have to say about it is based on anything factual, is that those that do venture into that field they target one-two categories and don’t treat us overall as a whole (which adds a whole different argument). The two categories I believe they spend too much time on are hip hop (which ruined hip hop) and church in some instances. Now, the “hip hop” generation will spend the big bucks on whatever is deemed cool at the time but I do think if they treated us as they treat white America, make it a broader appeal (and not just throw black actors in a white ad, please we know the difference) then they would successfully reach the black audience.

We are not all apart of the hip hop generation, especially the one you see on tv all commercialized, and we do not all congregate around the bible (I guess that is more black on black marketing than non black companies marketing their products for black folks so we’ll leave that one out). We eat McDonald's just like the average white person, and we're not bobbing our heads to a wack/fake hip hop beat in the process.

What I’d like to see, is regular products (and not products made for black people like the relaxed and natural line of Pantene Pro-V) marketed towards brown people. We buy some of the same stuff white people buy and we’d like to know our money is wanted.

There has to be some way that they can market to us without turning us into a caricature. They market to the average joe white person 99% of the time, take that, flip it towards how your product can address our needs and there you go! An ad for a black person who doesn't feel like they need to listen to commercialized rap to enjoy your product! :)


Is that really how we look???

It does seem weird to me in commercials where there is a group of people and it is 4-5 white people, one black or Hispanic/latino, and one asian. We know what that’s saying lol.

Anywho, I can’t think of anything else to say.

Maybe I’ll add more

Maybe not lol

New Job

I got a promotion!

I'll be back to explain later :)

MSNBC Election Result Widget

My Wish List

I wish I had a career that would open doors to bigger and better things, instead of a job with not even a window

I wish I had a man who didn't care what the number on the scale is, but cared that I looked my best for him

I wish I had more money so I could move out instead of making chump change forcing me to live here

I wish I had something to eat so my stomach would stop rumbling! lol

I wish I was planning my marriage with him

I wish I wasn't pushing 30 and not have anything going right in my life

Job Search

So I'm seriously back in the whole job search thing, though I never really stopped since I got out of college. I have to get a new job by October, I cannot stand to continue to be in the position I'm in but......

Michigan is running an 8.5% unemployment rate as of July.....where on earth will I find a job in this market?????

And I'm looking all over the place, career builder, monster, local papers classifieds, magazine classifieds, craigslist and nothing.

I've applied for A position with my company but I know I'm not going to get that


I think within the last 6 months I've applied to at least 150-200 jobs and no call back, no email back nothing.....

what am I doing wrong?????

I know I need to revamp my resume, but thats a bit costly......

I know whats partly to blame......the stupid current position I have now. Its looked at as having no experience I bet, I feel thats how we're looked at within our own company so I'm sure other employers are thinking the same

Any help would be great

Til Next Time!

RIP Bernie Mac

Such a huge talent, gone too soon

RIP and my prayers go out to your family

Things to consider when contacting customer service

I always hear tons and tons of complaints from people who call customer service for various companies. Now, I understand your frustration when a company has gone the cheap route and outsourced their customer service to India and it's clear your not speaking to someone who understands your prblem. I hate calling with anything to do with fixing a computer or related device. That is absolutely the worse.

However, as a customer service "professional", who has gone through being on the phone to now handling emails I can attest that most of the problems I have dealt with and listen to others in the field are most customer made, easily remedied if you didn't try to fix whatever the problem was yourself which just makes it worse, etc etc. I will provide you with some insight into what I assume is a normal US call center.

1. There are rules and procedures that the people you are talking to have to abide by to keep their job. If you think you're entitled to something that you know you're really just trying to get over on they can't always provide that for you. Just like you need your job to spend your money on whatever junk you're calling to complain about, they need to keep their jobs in order to take care of their business/families etc. 10 times out of 10 there are maximums to what a regualr representative can do...you have a problem with your bill and the problem lies with the company you will be compensated but don't go requesting something beyond what you deserve. That makes you greedy and can get the rep in trouble if they cave to your every demand.
2. It will serve you well that before you call you have all information regarding your product or service in front of you so that when you call and you are asked to provide that informaiton you're not getting frustrated because you have to go look for it. You're calling Sprint...have your pin number because they can't get into your account without...its security...looking out for you. You're calling your cable company...have your information ready so they can help you better. You sent in a check for payment but you received a bill after you sent it...think about the date you sent it...could it have crossed in the mail?? Are you certain it has been cashed. Before you call cussing someone out who has nothing to do with causing your problem check it out.
3. Remember, the person you are talking to is not the cause of your problem. They have been hired to assist you with what you need assistance with. If you call cussing them out they're not going to want to help you and you're going to get shitty service if they don't give a fuck. If they're being monitored then no, your service is not going to be shitty but they're not going to be willing to go beyond the call of duty to help you. Also remember they have to leave a detailed note in your account of what you were calling/emailing about so there is record of what has happened. I can't tell you how many times customers have been caught in a lie because they weren't happy with one rep hang up and call back and try to get the new rep to give them what they're asking for. DUH! we already know, its already been laughed at amongst the group! You're not going to get it!
4. The most common sense advice I can offer you is to be respectful. Would you want people to speak to you any kind of way at your job? Cussing you out for their mistakes??? How would that make you feel? Did it make you feel superior because you got to cuss some poor person out who is really trying to help you out??? Imagine how that person feels?? They get all kinds of crazy calls all day and you've added to that stress for no reason at all. If you have an actual serious grievance where you have suffered some due hardship you can be upset, I'm not saying you can't but there is a way to go about getting your problem fixed and cussing the first person you contact out is not going to help.

I have more but I have to get back to work so there may be a part 2 later.

Til Next Time

I'm Out!

Buying a House

So I put in an offer on a house in Oak Park, Mi.

I know I already live in Oak Park but the house was perfect.

All it needs is a new roof, which hud will pay for and a new front door :) oh and refrigerator.

The inside is move in ready, just need some cleaning and painting. The windows are new, the basement is finished and there is a bathroom down there which is awesome, I may make that the "play room" eventually.

I'll know by Monday whether my bid makes it :) Pray for me!

politically speaking

This will likely be my only political blog until after they pick the democratic nominee so here it goes

First off some stuff is bothering me from reading comments on other sites like the Huff Post and Daily Kos and even CNN when they're discussing Obama and Clinton. Why is it that some clinton supports will not support barack because of his extreme supporters and vice versa and would rather vote republican?? What does his supporters and vice versa have to do with either candidate's positions on improving the economy....ending the war in iraq......improving our reputation with the rest of the world.....let me back track and through out there who I support and that is Obama.....

I think he is the right person for the job. I am more impressed by how he has ran his capaign compared to Clinton who has just turned desparate and nasty. I was the biggest supporter of Bill Clinton (though I was like 10 or 11 the first time he ran) though had no opinion either way of Hillary. Once his two terms were up thats when I took notice of her and became not necessarily a fan but I thought nothing but nice thoughts about her.

Then comes this campaign and her arrogance that turned into this retarded sense of entitlement that I have no idea why she has it. She was first lady not a member of his cabinet, why do you deserve to be president off that??

Ok she is a senator in her is it 6th year? Ok run off that, not what you did as first lady because you held no governmental position. Even being senator does not give you the right to be president, you have to work for it and prove yourself worthy like everyone else who throws their name in the hat.

Then the Bill Richardson he owed me his endorsment crap. He worked for BILL CLINTON not Hillary. He doesn't owe Hillary a thing. He could have done Bill a favor and endorsed his wife but it would be a catch 22, he would get called out for endorsing Clinton based on the fact that B Clinton helped jump start his political career or he would get called "Judas" as Carville referred to him for going with Barack. I believe every word that he said that he decided on Obama when the Clinton campaign became ovetly negative. I was disgusted myself so I can only imagine what kind of inside information he has on the Clintons.

Something else that bothers me is the recent flack Obama is getting over his bitter comments. He was asked a question and he answered it bottom line. He didn't lie, nothing was made up, he gave his opinion on what he encountered campaigning in Pennsylvania. Its amazing to me how the Mass Media has just continued to try and successfully try at that to shape this election. They have manufactured it from the time the last person said they wanted in. Every opinion and debate, every thought put out and then reiterated by the people have come straight from Fox News, MSNBC, CNN, WaPo, etc. I'll start listening to the opposition when they stop using the talking points from Fox News.

Well thats all I have for now. I know it was brief and I wanted to go deeper but I'm a little sleepy and its starting to go off topic and it will turn into rambling if I don't stop now.

Til Next Time!

Friends.....How many of us have them

So I'm 25 right and I have no friends. I talk to the same person everyday but he's more than a friend so he doesn't count. ALL but about 25-30 minutes out of my cell phone minutes are with him, the rest is my family. I had a lot of friends when I graduated but I don't talk to any of them anymore for no reason really. I long grew apart from my high school friends though we held on to each other as long as possible. Kids happened (not me though) and just taking different paths caused us not to keep in touch. One person lied on the other and that caused an unneccessary riff though not talking was bound to happen. I have my best friend who I love to death who I just don't spend any time with; she was really all I had when it all boiled down to discarding folks and we don't talk now. My hanging buddies moved so I haven't been out in I don't know how long where I really enjoyed myself, I mean really I haven't been out out in a year really. Thats kind of sad.

Then I had my college friends who have all moved out of the state and doing what they do, keeping in touch with who they keep in touch with but not me. I kinda secluded myself but lines of communication has always been open; hell I'm on facebook, it just takes a few seconds to drop a note and see whats up. I've tried that but rately get a response or it just widdles off and we go anothter couple of months not speaking. I wish I would have held on closer to a couple but what can I do now. I spend all my time at work and at home, I go to target sometimes or the grocery store and that is it. I used to go out a lot, go to the movies and out to a bar but I havne't done anything because I don't have anymore to hang with.

I know this is a little pathetic but I just had to get this out. Its a little lonely my way. I've hit the end of the internet too many times to count and I've read a lot of books. I need some human interaction, a call or text even.

Well I gotta go to bed

Til Next Time

What I'm Doing Now to Change

So its been a minute and I thought I'd give an update on what I'm doing now to change my position.

Well there is the job search though Michigan was #1 in the worst state to look for a job category but I am still looking here. I'm not going to give up on my statejust yet though I have wanted to. But I'm still applying to places all over different kind of jobs different areas. We'll see what happaens with that. I'm trying to make about $4-5k more so I can get my condo and move out the house. I could get one now I think but I'll have to see how this car payment and stuff thing goes see how much money I will actually have to spend on bills associated with a condo. But anywho back to the job search. My dream would be to work for the Pistons though I know that is highly competitive since they're a good team but I apply when they have spots open. Hopefully something will pan out. I'm looking out for the Lions and Tigers too, they don't seem to have spots opened as much though.

Right now I'm applying for any company I can think of and any position they have other than positions like I'm in now, I can't move to another company doing this shit anymore, has to be a forward move. I deserve better, I will get better and I will be better!

After I get my car situation situated I'm going to get back into preparing myself to go back to school, though I'm hearing similar stories to mine with people going through the same thing with their grad school degree I do think it will help some. I'm thinking about a MBA, I got the study books and everything I'm just lacking a little motivation. It'll happen though, one day lol.

Ok, thats enough on this.....a rant is coming next

What Went Wrong

So this is what I think went wrong with my college career.

1. Right Major/Wrong Time
I received my BA in Sports Management and Communications. Freshman year I wanted to be a sports agent, not really thinking about and not really abreast about how all of that works and what it means to be a sports agent. So I applied to the Division of Kinesiology which housed along with Sports Management, physical education, movement science, and athletic training. It may have dawn on those in charge that this particular concentration would serve better in the business school or maybe a joint hook up with sports management and the relevant b-school classes (which we had but the b-school did not want us taking classes with their students). It was painfully aware that this major was tailored made for athletes who either wouldn't make it to the pros or needed a back up plan. This was not set up for students who wanted to really do something business related in the sporting industry. We were the butt of many jokes because most of the football team were sports management majors and a lot of the classes weren't really dumbed down for the athletes but weren't really that hard

There was no clear way to have a concentration like advertising or marketing or economics because they only offered one class on each. If I took advertising and sports adveritsing and marketing and sports marketing does that make a good candidate for a marketing career??? I don't think so but I took all four of those classes as well as sport economics and racism and sports and sport psychology, and sport law, basically a hodgepodge of sporting topics. I don't believe anything prepared me for any kind of career path.

Fast forward to my junior year and a problem with b-school attitude with us taking their classes but our classes should be wide open for their students and the Kines directors decide well we'll shut them out and make our program more competitive. Too late for me to partake in this wonderful restructuring that allow for more specific track of study. They added more requirements that in my opinion provided a better background for the higher level classes. It was an all around great change that my class was not apart of. So I graduated with a B.A. in Sports Management and no clue on what to do next.

2. Not Being Active Enough
I didn't join any major groups, didn't participate in anything really. I was just there taking classes and going home every weekend. I look back at all the different programs I could have joined all the contacts I could have made and I lost out on a lot. I was too busy trying to keep up with the few friends I have at home to be worried about the people on campus and what they were doing. And now I don't even talk to those people I was coming home to see all the time. I could have had a great college life but chose to do otherwise. I hated college. But now that I think about it, it is all my own fault. I always say life is what you make it and I made Michigan a terrible experience.


Well when I first started this I had a longer list but I've forgotten most of it now so I'll leave it at these two and maybe a part two later.

So I'm out!

The Job Search, My Jobs, and Why It All Sucks

Like I stated in the previous post I was jobless for about a year. Everyday, Sunday-Saturday I would send out my resume, apply for jobs, look for jobs and play on the internet. I was on CareerBuilder, Monster, Hot Jobs, TeamWork Online (sports job database), Higher Ed jobs, looking through the local papers and every other job search database I could find. The only responses I got were from those fake sales/advertising/marketing jobs and insurance companies that don't care what your degree is in. I had already been warned about the fake sales jobs, they're all over the place, always hiring, always "opening up a new location." My sister went through the whole job search thing before I got there and gave me the scoop on those places. So a friend told me his job was hiring and I went on and applied not knowing what to expect and got hired.

The First Gig
My first job after college was with ABN Amro/LaSalle bank. I can't even tell you what my title was this job was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo insignificant soooooooo low on the corporate ladder. I'll just have to tell you what I did. You know when you go to the ATM and you deposit either money or checks in the ATM machine instead of actually going into the branch to handle your transaction with a teller??? Well I was one of the people who processed your deposit. It was located in this hidden building in a random city. It was just above janitor it was so low. The pay was terrible but it was better than not making anything annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd it was less than part time. I probably brought home after taxes maybe $100-50 every two weeks, maybe. It was one of those jobs you would get if you were straight out of high school, maybe living at home and needed extra pocket money while going to college. In my opinion it was not for someone with a degree, not even an associate degree!

The people I worked with all generally had kids early, not married, not really low expectation type of girls but really had no other options. Now, not all of them were like this and not all were part time. Some were actually full time and probably grossed about $18k a year. But, the job was wack. While there a position opened up at my sister's job and I interviewed for that....forgot about it til some weeks later until I got a call asking if I was still looking for a new job and that they wanted me if I was still willing. This job was full time and I didn't care how much they paid, it would have been more than I was making there and I was ready to go! So job #1 lasted all of 5 months.

Goodbye low paying part time terrible job. Hello still relatively low paying full time terrible job!

The New Gig
I started at the new spot in June of 2006. I'm always really hesitant to give my job title because I am so beyond ashamed of what I do that I just give a vague description. Like 'oh I basically do web tech stuff' when I really am a customer service representative. I started out answering the phones but was "promoted" to emails (whooppee!). Oh, I forgot to say where I work. I work for a magazine publishing company located in a relatively big city, I'll try to keep the company's name out of it so I won't lose my job for putting them on blast lol. We publish trade magazines that no one reads. I don't make enough to live on my own unless I wanted to starve or live in the hood but then my car insurance (on a car I can't even afford to get right now) would be ridiculously high! This is why I'm still at home :(

So the company is privately owned and could give a rats ass about diversity. So in other words us "darkies" are few and far between except in three departments: customer service (my department), fulfillment (they handle the incoming mail), and the mailroom. We're not the face of the company but we're definitely what keeps it running. So I get there and its a 5 story building, nothing on the first floor but elevators, a deli, and a small financial company of some sort, the 2nd floor was empty at first but was soon rented out, third floor holds two other " governmental agencies," and it held customer service and fulfillment for my company. The only two departments not on the 4th floor with the rest of the company outside of the big wigs who has the top floor. We were outcasts, or the black sheep of the company and they wanted us to know it and they wanted everyone else to treat us that way. We'd have meetings with other departments that rely on us and they'd be praising us to heaven's doors but as soon as that meeting is over and we're passing these same people in the hallway, in the bathroom or where ever they won't even look in our direction (with the exception of one person who always speaks).

Fast forward about 8 months after I got there, dealing with the racial tension that I'm sure a lot of minorities feel working for a white company and they had the audacity to move us up to the forth floor with the rest of the company, albeit we're in a back corner, isolated from just about everyone else but we're up there! lol and boy were they upset the niggers were coming! Since I have some people in other departments I knew what was being said about us and what they expected to happen once we got up there. You would think they thought we'd be bring a boombox blasting rap and barbequing in the hallway! The transition was cool nothing big happened, no boomboxes, no barbeque just regular business. But what gets me is if I'm in the elevator or bathroom and someone sees me that hasn't seen me before they automatically know what department I work for. They tried to get my sister with that "oh how do you like the 4th floor" and she works in the finance department been there for at least 4 years now, talk about working while black! Oh yeah it was about 6 months after being there when they "promoted" me to emails which I was so happy to do since I hate talking to people on the phone who just demand things they're not entitled to and like to vent to me like I'm the reason the post office sucks and stop asking about the damn weather!

Ok so that's work, lets tie this back into what I came here to blog about. So I am one of maybe three total who has a degree. With the new manager who came in about two years before I did she changed the requirements to you either needing to have a degree or relevant experience. So I got in with my degree, another person obtained her degree while there, and a third has a degree and a lot of customer service experience and is actually back in school to get another degree. BUT! I have an almighty Michigan degree! That was suppose to mean something. I was told by my manager and assistance manager that they didn't believe I'd be in this department 6 months and I'm working on two years.

I've continued my job search through the same avenues plus some more just not as aggressively. I've had two phone interviews, well no three phone interviews with other companies, and one in person interview and nothing. Maybe I interview bad :( I've even applied for other positions within the company and I got nothing. I've discussed the upward mobility, or rather the lack there of within the company with other people and the consensus is that other departments will not hire people from customer service. They think so low of our department that the glass ceiling isn't see through for us, its been painted black! Even within the department you can't move up and show any leadership skills to other potential employers or managers because the opportunities are not there. Another issue brought up is not only am I black and I work in customer service but maybe my degree is too fancy! Can you believe that, I apply for a position and because I graduated from a great school I'm a threat because of it! I didn't really think much of that thought the first few times I heard it but it has come up a lot so I'm starting to give some credence to that.

I'm not going to give up though. I have a boyfriend whom I love so much but lives in another state. He's ready to take it to the next level and he wants me to move in with him. I'm ready to do that but other issues are hindering that possibility, though its going to happen regardless of whats stopping me! But his location doesn't appear to be any better job search wise and his location can and will change (he's military). And that's a whole nother can of worms! I'll save that discussion for later.

I'm tired now

So til next time....

The Revelation

Hello Blog World

I'm kind of new to this so bare with me while I get started

I guess I will first let you all in on why I created this blog. I graduated from UMich- Ann Arbor 3 years ago. I was jobless for a year being turned down left and right from every single job I applied to. I then started working at the very bottom of the barrel for LaSalle Bank. I wasn't even in a branch, I worked in an off site location processing atm deposits. Me, arrogant me, arrogant Umich graduate. It was part time and barely paid my cell phone bill and I couldn't start paying back my student loan. That job lasted 5 months until I was offered another position. This one was full time and I am able to pay my bills and do some random Amazon.com shopping. But, its a terrible job, not worthy of a UMich graduate, definitely one who thinks so highly of her degree.

Fast forward a year and a half at this terrible job and I was having a conversation with another UMich grad who is having the same issues I am but she is jobless. We talked about life after UMich and how looking at our peers makes it even more frustrating that we're not excelling like we thought a Michigan grad should. Our peers have graduated grad school, just about to get out of law school, starting families and we're just barely getting by. Makes facebook really hard to login to as they post their accomplishments and I have nothing to post.

So I was in the shower and thought I'd start a blog about my after UMich life and how is sucks and maybe I'll find some more people out there who have graduated from schools that are suppose to produce great people and have not lived up to the hype.

Well it is Christmas so I'll end my first post here. I'm off to play my Nintendo DS since I have nothing else to do.

Til Next Time