Mae Dae Mae Dae 100 Bars

	Mae Day - 101 bars .mp3
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Can you turn a he-hoe into a house husband? Lol

I have just a couple of thoughts.

I’m part of a group of SINGLE, college educated professional women who, at the very least on the surface, are pretty cool chicks. I don’t know how others behave when in relationships but they’re cool with me and I think that says a lot lol. Assuming they’re like me, they are having a very hard time finding someone to seriously date.

Now this isn’t going to turn into a why are my friends and I so great yet single piece. I just had some ideas pop into my head that I thought I’d throw out there to wolves and see what others think.

1. Are dudes who are man whores worthy of trying out?? Or is a man whore always a man whore?

I ask this because of something I put on tweeted today.

I typed “Its funny when u mention the name of a guy & every girl in the room makes that face lol he's either not a good person or has ran thru 2 many.”

Now I know a lot of dudes who know a lot of females, A LOT of females and I don’t tend to look at them as someone date-able because they’ve been around the block more than a couple of times. Is that a dating pool that shouldn’t be ignored?? Can a man whore ever redeem himself and become husband material?? Can you turn a he-hoe into a house husband? Lol

2. Letting God lead your search

I’m not talking about having spiritual requirements but leaving your search in God’s hands so to speak, so you do nothing to help aid in your search for a mate. If that’s your method, or non-method, can you complain about not having someone?? Do you think you need to put yourself in situations where you can find your mate? Or will he bring you your mate without any nudge from you at all?

And if you do an active search and not acknowledge God in your search isn’t he really aiding in your search anyway??

So is it best to have it both ways? Actively put out the vibes that you want a boo and let God do his side of it?

What if you’re not ready for a boo but you don’t know that but he knows that and he’s keeping you single til you’re ready. Will you appreciate you boo that much more because you were "ready?"

What if you're like me and don't want to be old as hell getting married and it be too late to have babies. Woops did I just publish a fear? Yep lol

Relationships, Cheaters, Becoming Jaded and all that jazz

Within the last two years or so I've met or been approached by more dudes who are in relationships than I have in my whole adult dating life and I think I'm becoming jaded out relationships.

And for the record I know chicks cheat just as much as dudes but I'm a chick who doesn't and this is what I'm dealing with.

I know ninjas have been cheating since the beginning of time but I mean I at least thought there were SOME out there that don't. But the more I meet guys and most are in relationships of some sort (even married) the more I see how willing they are to get at me regardless of who they have at home. Some have talked about how much they love their wife or girl and are happy in that situation but just want to "get to know me" aka get in my bed.

Why?

Why can't they just acknowledge an attraction to someone and not act on it? Is it really something in males that make them want to pro-create with any chick they find suitable?

Is this social construct of marriage really whats not natural and something that should not be looked forward to if you wish to have a fully committed partner?

If you decide to get married should you be ok with a certain level of adultery?

What do you consider cheating in the first place? Inappropriate talks? Secret friends of the opposite sex? Inappropriate thoughts of someone other than the person you're with?

I think some things are excusable, we're human, we have brains, we have hormones.

Maybe the animal in us is closer than we think?? Maybe commitment is the issue and not the men......

What do you think?

Marco.......Polo

And I'm not talking about that stupid Bow Wow-Souljah Boy song.

I'm talking about seeking out honest, high quality people that I want in my life. Finding a boo and/or friends of either sex is very hard to do, it's not easy to differientate those that are like that saying, only here for a season from those you who are here for a lifetime.

Seasonal vs. Lifetime



Friendship- I've had a hard time keep real friends in my life. I have different sets of "friends" and "associates" who come and go and come again and have served different purposes in my life. I have my high school friends and associates. Some of these people I may have known since kindergarten and still talk to but aren't people I hang with or confide in but are friendish. Then there are associates from highschool that I speak to but never really been friends with and thats all good. And then there are my ride or die homies who even if with go months without speaking all I got to do is make a phone call and they're there and vice versa and they better be my friends forever because we got these damn matching tattoos and mine is the biggest! And even though they are my ride or die there are still limitations, we've grown apart, done different things in life which alters taste and stuff someone might like to do or see the others don't.

My bestest friend is part of that crew and we've definitely grown apart and have taken different paths in life but thats my babymama (I'm the god mom to her kids) and I'll always love her. Then there is Bird, who I can't come up with another name for so she'll go by her own name, who I admire and worry about so much. She has the balls I wish I had, she got up and moved out of the state and did her thing, something I want to do but don't have the nerve. She's an awesome person, someone easy to talk to and is very smart and is #2 on my bestest list.

I have no real friends from college, mostly associates so we can skip that whole period all together.

Fast forward to 2007-present time and who do I have?

I have my ride or dies, my bestests 1 and 2, and a new buddy in Derg but we really don't talk if Bird isn't involved and that is it. I had a group of peeps who most I've known the longest and I thought were my other ride or die group but things are not so. Once I took a step back after being told essentially that I was bossy (which I don't understand and I'll address below) they tend to fall into the same line as everyone else. 99.99999999% of the time I've had conversations with these people its been if we're all out somewhere. Sometimes we'd meet up and everyone will be talking about something that happened and I'd have no idea what they're talking about because they never talk to me but will talk to each other.

M-Th conversation was very limited to either planning the weekend if something was going on or limited convo on gchat. I'd throw out ideas to go out or invite them over if I cooked and that was turned into me being bossy. Nothing I suggested as things to do were mandatory, nothing was 'do this or else.' I was merely trying to maintain a semblance of a friendship and it turned into me being bossy. Ok. Fine. I'll be bossy by myself. I was under the impression that friends talked, chilled, went out every now and then. Obviously I was mistaken so I've removed myself from that situation.

This all came about after I had a huge breakdown and felt unbelievably at my worse about everything in life but I had my friends and we were going to hang and see a movie but then 'you're bossy' and 'no offense' 'oh are we still going.'

No, we're not.



Love- I am so unlucky in relationships with dudes it is ridiculous. My ex, well he's an ex and I won't put our issues out there because they are deeper than normal relationship bullish but we didn't work and he's got a new boo. Before him, well I always forget the one for a month or so at the end of the year/beginning of this year. That was a relationship a few years too late. I wish he would have been ready when I was, we'd likely be married by now but now wasn't right and now he's having a kid with someone else. Ok now lets go further back, the one before my ex was a straight up weirdo lol. This was my senior year of college and he was really nice but strange. He carried a messenger bag like the white dudes as a purse lol. And he liked old grandpa type cars, not like an old caprice that you hook up but an old grandpa lincoln lol. Before him was Blue and well we were on two different paths in life that would have never worked even if we tried. I'm anti-marijuana and he smoked. I was getting my college degree and he well smoked and likely cheated lol. Anything before that doesn't matter.

My one- lol well lets just say the feeling was no longer mutual or they were maybe mutual but time and distance caused a huge issue. But if there is a will there is a way and there was no will. wan wan lol I guess thats how you spell that sound effect. I mean thats how I say it but I could be wrong. But back to my one. The only thing I don't like about him is his height. But everthing else was so awesome I didn't care that heels made us about the same height lol. But he doesn't feel the same way so I finally agreed that it was pointless and moved on.

The other one lol- I have two issues with this one. One being poor money management skills and lack of ambition to do anything other than issue #2, which is his hobby consuming too much of his time and his unwillingness to adjust or compromise on it. I know its a money maker for him and pays his bills when needed but damn, can't get a date or even night in with someone who is out doing their hobby 5 nights a week. And for someone willing to even come watch something they don't enjoy because you do should be met with some sort of compromise. Another, if marriage and/or baby making is being considered you have to have some sory of plan in place to have things covered and I know too much about your $$ situation to go into something along either one of those lines. It's a bit selfish but I will not struggle if I don't have to and I already am by myself, I'm not taking on more struggle.

The new one who has definitely slipped into the not going to happen box is an awesome dude. Got everything I want in a dude other than muscles and thats not a mandatory requirement. He's super smart, very successful, nice, funny, definitely a geek which is so sexy, very grounded and spiritual. But he doesn't live here. He just got our of a relationship where he was hurt so he's not receptive to dating anyone remotely serious and thats fine and I'd have no issue with that if I was told before I got my nose all opened. Sometimes thinking of someone should be left at that and not dangling your awesomeness in someone's face when its not for sale. Pre-October 2nd things were great, going slow, trying not to get in the way of his healing or "chilling" as he put it. Post October 4th I never hear from him with no explanation other than the one time he's contacted me since I was last in Chicago that he's been busy. Well you were working before too. Like I said before where there is a will there is a way and there is no longer a will so I am forced to get over that ish and move on.

Today is November 4, 2009 and I haven't been in a good place for a while now and I don't know if it'll ever get better. I think deep down I'm a good person and I'll have people in my corner. Right now I got my pup pup and he's all I need.

Advertising and the black dollar

I was inspired to write this blog after reading Marissa Miley’s article, “Don't Bypass African-Americans,” in the February 2nd issue of Advertising Age. The article is basically about how marketers have continued to ignore the black market. It states that black people have a $913 billion buying power and will hit the trillion dollar mark by 2013, (2011 according to www.emarketer.com) and we’re being bypassed/overlooked/ignored in the advertising field. It goes on about the Hispanic marketing and how much is spent there and the theory behind it and all that (you can read the article for more details).

What I believe is wrong with black advertising, and nothing I have to say about it is based on anything factual, is that those that do venture into that field they target one-two categories and don’t treat us overall as a whole (which adds a whole different argument). The two categories I believe they spend too much time on are hip hop (which ruined hip hop) and church in some instances. Now, the “hip hop” generation will spend the big bucks on whatever is deemed cool at the time but I do think if they treated us as they treat white America, make it a broader appeal (and not just throw black actors in a white ad, please we know the difference) then they would successfully reach the black audience.

We are not all apart of the hip hop generation, especially the one you see on tv all commercialized, and we do not all congregate around the bible (I guess that is more black on black marketing than non black companies marketing their products for black folks so we’ll leave that one out). We eat McDonald's just like the average white person, and we're not bobbing our heads to a wack/fake hip hop beat in the process.

What I’d like to see, is regular products (and not products made for black people like the relaxed and natural line of Pantene Pro-V) marketed towards brown people. We buy some of the same stuff white people buy and we’d like to know our money is wanted.

There has to be some way that they can market to us without turning us into a caricature. They market to the average joe white person 99% of the time, take that, flip it towards how your product can address our needs and there you go! An ad for a black person who doesn't feel like they need to listen to commercialized rap to enjoy your product! :)


Is that really how we look???

It does seem weird to me in commercials where there is a group of people and it is 4-5 white people, one black or Hispanic/latino, and one asian. We know what that’s saying lol.

Anywho, I can’t think of anything else to say.

Maybe I’ll add more

Maybe not lol

New Job

I got a promotion!

I'll be back to explain later :)

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